At its simplest etiquette is just a set of rules, most flexible, that allow us all to function well when presented with a socially challenging situation. Knowledge of etiquette prevents us from appearing stupid or boorish. Alternatively, of course, dining etiquette can be looked upon as an antiquated set of obtuse rules and requirements (stemming from the old ‘court’ culture of Royal family’s past and present) having little relevance to 99.99% of the world’s population.
One of the quickest relationship builders is to break bread with someone. Regional and ethnic cultures place high importance on relationship building around a meal. Understanding the proper etiquette can make this opportunity to form strong bonds with others highly successful. Not understanding can lead to irreparable harm.
Rules of Dinning Etiquette
Dining etiquette has always been important. People are generally judged about their cultural level depending on how elegantly they eat and use silverware. The rules for silverware have evolved for many years. Correct posture is very important. One needs to sit up straight, not too close and not too far from the table. Keep elbows off the table. The napkin should be folded in half and placed on the lap to protect clothing from any unexpected spills.
The dining etiquette is very detailed about everything. For example, the roles of different pieces of silverware are very precise. The knife only “assists” the fork. It is wrong to cut everything with the knife at once. It is appropriate to cut small, bite-size pieces one at a time. Bread also should be broken off by bite-size pieces. To spread butter, the piece of bread should be held with left hand on the side of the plate for convenience.
There is a long list of rules on how to eat soup. First of all, there is a special spoon for soups. The soup should be eaten from the edge of the spoon, holding it parallel to the mouth. When there is a little left in the bowl, it should be titled away. Then it is easier to fill the spoon with the remaining soup. Second-course etiquette requires more wisdom. The knife should be held in right hand, handle in the palm, index finger placed where the blade begins. The fork in left hand, index finger placed where the fork just begins to curve.
When cutting food, the utensils should be angled slightly. When utensils are on the plate parallel to each that, it is a signal that one is done with the meal. There are special utensils for different dishes, such as fish, seafood, meat, and poultry. There are special silverware for desserts and snacks. For dishes that do not need to be cut, only forks should be used. If necessary, break off a piece of bread and “help” to put food on the fork.
When it comes to drinks, there is one rule: the stronger is the drink, the smaller is the glass. The glasses are usually placed in the following order in the front of the plate: a champagne glass, a glass for red wine, a glass for white wine, a glass for fortified drinks, a glass for vodka and a glass for juice or water.
Dining etiquette is not only the rules for eating at the table. It is the ability to make a good impression on others while socializing during a meal.
Common Family Dining Etiquette Mistakes
There are so few family dinners nowadays that table manners have gone by the wayside and family dining is swiftly becoming a rare treat rather than a common end-of-day ritual. However, with some organization and an emphasis on table etiquette, family dinners can become a calm oasis where members can reconnect and share the events of the day. Learn the top five most common areas where family dining etiquette mistakes occur so that you can correct the behavior in yourself as well as in the children.
Chaos at the Table
Everyone should arrive at the table after washing hands and straightening themselves up. Muddy shirts and dirty hands have no place at the table. Each child should have an assigned place and should sit respectfully while the last of the food is set on the table. If your tradition is a family prayer, family members should be respectful during its offering. Napkins should be placed on laps and never used to wipe the face or blow noses.
Improper Serving
In dinner table etiquette, food should be taken from communal bowls and placed in small portions on the plate. Serving bowls should also be passed from left to right. No member of the family should start eating until everyone is seated and each family member has been served. It’s rude to start eating before passing everything along.
Sloppy Eating
Children and adults are guilty of chewing with their mouth open, putting too much in their mouth and licking utensils clean. Other offenses are licking fingers, reaching across the table for another serving and making rude comments about a food item.
Poor Conversation
An important part of the dining experience is to have a good conversation. However, talking and eating may be tricky to manage in children. Nobody should talk with food in their mouth and interrupting another conversation is also poor table etiquette. When asking to pass a serving dish, the person should get another’s attention by saying their name and then requesting the food item to be passed. There should always be “please” and “thank you” in every request or response. Offensive noises like burps or smacks should be eliminated. Also, grownups and children should never answer the phone during dinner.
Early Dismissing after the Meal
When someone is finished eating, it is poor etiquette to jump down from the table. Proper table manners require the person to ask the host or parent if he or she can be excused. Parents often instill the rule that the child must clear his or her own plate, utensils and glass to the dishwashing area as part of the dismissal.
3 Easy Ways to Inculcate Good Dining Etiquette in Children
The importance of good dining etiquette is inevitable in social and professional gatherings where you wish to portray yourself as a respectful and refined member of society. Bad table manners can make the others sitting at the table cringe and even hinder your chances at being invited again by the same people; regardless of how nice you may be. Parents should start cultivating good table manners in children right from when they are toddlers.
However, whether you have a pre-teen that runs back to his video games after guzzling his meal within a couple of minutes or if you’re 12 years old blatantly refuses to avert their eyes from their phone and tablets, it is never too late for kids to learn good table manners. Dining etiquette, to the children, may just be an additional set of rules they have to comply with. Nevertheless, the key to getting your older kids to conduct themselves considerately is to treat them like grownups and make the process of dining a fun experience; rather than pushing them to follow the “rules”.
What they Shouldn’t do
Kids should be taught about what is agreeable on the dinner table right from a young age. Talking or eating loudly is not appropriate. Neither is starting before everyone has settled down or left the table abruptly. One shouldn’t talk with their mouths full. It is repulsive to others sitting and the table and there is also a risk of choking. Negative comments about the food like “Yuck!” are highly unsuitable.
What they Should do
The kids shouldn’t fidget on the chair and a proper posture must be maintained for better digestion. The usage of napkins should be employed for wiping off food from the face and hands. May I, please and thank you should be used while asking for the salt shaker or the bread basket instead of lunging across the table. Their cutlery skills must be put into practice unless the meal includes designated finger food.
How to Administer the Rules
Lead by example-If you are distressed about your children picking up bad mealtime practices from their peers, don’t undervalue your influence. The parents should make sure that they themselves follow the norms of what is acceptable and what isn’t. It may sound ridiculously simple, but well-mannered parents have well-mannered kids. Follow simple etiquettes that you would want your child to follow like not getting any electronics to the table or picking your teeth.
Get them involved by giving them simple tasks like chopping and peeling while preparing the meals. Ask them to set the table after teaching them how to do so. Don’t lose your temper over slight forgetfulness but straighten them out with a light prompt that barely qualifies as nagging. Appreciate more than you fret, correct with simple explanations, and don’t offer rewards for good behavior.
Set realistic expectations, and then mildly reinforce them until they become a habit. It’s worth remembering that any good dining etiquette goes a long way in shaping the personality of your child/children and is helping them grow their self-confidence.
Tips for Dining in Different Cultures
Dining in a new culture can be both exhilarating and stressful all at the same time. Countries from across the world have different cultural norms for everything from the food options to dining etiquette. Imagine walking into a meal and being unaware of the dining customs; that thought alone is enough to put even the most confident person on edge. Anyone traveling outside of his or her culture should utilize these tips for dining in different cultures to help make your dining experience successful and pleasurable.
Research
The most important thing about dining in another culture is thoroughly researching the culture beforehand. Each culture has a different set of dining standards, both formal and informal. Many of these cultural norms and dining expectations can be found with a simple search on the internet. A little effort in the research department can go a very long way in helping to ease your worry and discomfort as you dine with those of diverse cultures. You should not only research the dining experience but also find out the types of food that are often consumed in that culture. Being knowledgeable about what you are eating will definitely help you make a smooth transition from your dining experience to that of another culture.
Observe
Although the internet can be very helpful in providing insight into the dining experiences of almost all cultures across the globe, some informal rules must be acquired through observation. Pay attention to those around you and, in a sense, mimic their behaviors and actions. This proves to be the best method for quickly learning the cultural norms around dining. For example, you can learn that a certain culture will pass the salt and the pepper together clockwise by merely watching others engage in this activity.
Be Open-Minded
One of the most important things to remember when dining in another culture is to be open-minded and incredibly aware of your facial expressions and body language. If you are like most people, you tend to gravitate toward comfort food and avoid items that may look weird. The best thing about cultural dining is being able to experiment with foods that are outside of your normal indulgences. However, you must test these foods in an open-minded, tactful manner. In essence, avoid making snide remarks or comments about the food prepared by those of another culture; instead, fully engage in the dining experience and be willing to try new foods.
These tips for dining in different cultures can greatly help to reduce your anxiety and uncertainty with cultural dining experiences. Simply do your research, pay attention during the meal, and be open-minded to new food groups. Before you know it, you will make a successful transition from your dining experience to that of various cultures.
Conclusion
There are certain general dining etiquette rules to remember.
- Taste your food before adding any salt or other seasonings.
- Food should be passed counterclockwise. When asked for salt or pepper, pass both together, and place them on the table and never hand to hand.
- You may place your hand over the wine glass to signal you do not want any. Turning it upside down is a big no-no.
Following the above dining etiquette rules, you can never be faulted for your table manners.
